The last few days I have been reminded just how imperfect I am. Now, I don’t mean this in a beat-myself-up kind of way, but more in a should-have-opened-my-eyes-earlier sort of way. As I mentioned in my last post, I know God has a plan for me, it’s just difficult to not want to know what it is right now. Same goes with the plans I make; I think they will be perfect and well thought out, but nope. Instead, the plans are imperfect, and have a tendency to either fail awkwardly, or just don’t go through at all.
But not God’s plans. God’s plans do not fail, and this I have to remember. My plan didn’t fail because God is angry at me and wants to see me hurt; my plan failed because as an imperfect being my plan too will be imperfect. As God works through the plan that He has created for me, and I walk along His perfect path, I forget. I forget and then I decide to forge my own path because hey! I know what I want to do, and where I want to go.
Then, when it becomes clear that the path I chose is not so perfect, I turn around. Well, sometimes I turn around; sometimes I forge on even more, thinking that there will be light at the end and I will get to the place that is wonderful, and beautiful, and perfect. Except, then I don’t, and then I turn around, back through the path that I created to where He is still waiting, patient, as I step back onto that perfect path he paved.
Sometimes, it feels like a never ending cycle. Or, I feel like I am going along on the paved path only to find myself wading through the weeds. It’s not fun, but it reminds me that I also need to be patient. With myself and with God. Which is not easy; living in world where there are alerts everywhere it’s easy for me to fall into the idea that if I don’t know what’s going on right now, well, what’s the point?
Slow down? But why?! I love going fast, why would I want to slow down?! Except, when I don’t slow down, I forget to listen to and for Him. I’m too engaged in the wants that I’ve created, that I miss out on the needs that He is providing.
My plans will be imperfect because I am imperfect. God’s plans are perfect because He is perfect. I just need to remember this mantra, no matter how long it is!